Blessed

Losing someone is hard, losing someone to cancer is like adding salt to the wound, like being kicked when your already down, and it just, well it just sucks.
Back in 09 when I went to that retreat just for teens with cancer I was roommates with this girl, Jessica. We became friends (like everybody does at those things), saw eachother at other events and kept in touch. I knew a while back that she was having some problems, but didn't know the extent of them, and I knew that she was back at Children's more than usual. Sadly, I lost touch for the most part with school and work these past few months and I found out on Monday that Jessica had passed away. I couldn't believe it and was shocked. She was loved and will be missed so much!
It was one of those moments when I realized just how blessed I truly am. We can so easily forget - yes, even cancer survivors can forget- just what God has done in our lives. He has provided me with so much, yet it is often easier to see what I don't have. God is so good and faithful to provide everything we need - not want, a key difference that I seem to overlook a lot of the time. I am so humbled and blessed and grateful for my life and the life that God has provided for me. Since he gave me life, and sustains my life, in return, he should get all of me, every aspect of my life should be for Him and His glory.

These are some of my favorite verses about rejoicing in the love and goodness of Jesus that I hope encourage you this week to come to Jesus with a grateful, thankful heart-

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Philipians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Psalm 103: 1-2 Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.


-We miss you Jessica-

Check Up Time :)

I had my 6 month check up this past Monday...and everything is still fantastic! I had blood drawn and a chest x-ray done..I don't go back until next March :) It was such a good day and I am so blessed to still be in remission!! It was also my first trip to Children's by myself...and I never got lost :)

1 Corinthians 2:5 - So that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power!



God is so good!!
-Sunshine & Smiles :)

CANCER-FREE FOR 2 YEARS :D

Yesterday, July 27, marked my 2 years of being CANCER-FREE!!! I am sooo blessed and humbled to be healthy again. It is the most amazing feeling in the world!! God is so good..sometimes we overlook all the good He does for us and just focus on the negative..but despite all the negative going on in our lives...His good out weighs it all because He sent His son to die for our sins...that in and of it self should make us get out of bed with a smile and look for the best in each day. I have probably put this verse up before but it is just so amazing...
John 16:33 You will have trouble in this world, but take heart! I have overcome the world!
I love the message that it gives..it makes me smile :)

Sunshine & Smiles
-Carlene

Research Study

Last week I participated in a research study at CHLA to see the effects of radiation on the lungs. I was told about this back in March at my Gaynon appt. I figured if I can help future children who have to undergo radiation then what ever I had to do was worth it : )
My sister and I drove down there...and since it was the first time I drove to CHLA w/o my mom it was a bit scary (I don't like LA drivers)...but I made it! After signing all the release forms I gave blood from my radial artery...my wrist...and it hurt! They poked me twice and both times they got nothing..thankfully they didn't poke me again. Then I got to sit in this glass box and blow into a tube that measured my lung capacity. It was pretty awesome..I felt like an astronaut. All the people conducting and helping with the study were super supportive and encouraging. Then I had to go on a treadmill..now I warned them that I don't exercise and am a terrible runner..and they said it was okay. So I attached all the wires to me and started walking on the treadmill. I had never been on a treadmill before so it was really strange. Then I began jogging and then running..after about 7 and half minutes of being on the treadmill they told me once again that the speed would increase..but I was really tired so I had them stop it. Then I had to sit in the glass box and breathe into the tube at 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and 15 minutes after...I also had to inhale a medicine to help with any problems that could occur. After all that...I got $50 :) Overall it was fun experience and hopefully helpful.

My next Gaynon appt. is not until September..so I have a while to wait. I've been reading through Romans recently and wanted to leave you with a verse that spoke to me.

Romans 5:3-5 We can rejoice,too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

This verse is just so encouraging. It tells us to rejoice even in our struggles because even in our darkest hour we will always have this hope of salvation because God loves us soo much and will never let us down.


Sunshine & Smiles
Carlene :)

Adventures at Children's Hospital

Today was supposed to be just an easy uneventful day at CHLA..but of course uneventful days just don't happen down there. Instead when I was recieving the IV contrast for my CT scan something happened with inside with my vein so all the contrast swelled up in the upper portion of my left arm instead of traveling throughout my body. When the nurses noticed this they immediatly rushed me out of the CT and began asking "does your arm hurt?" "can you feel your fingers?" I could feel my fingers and I had no pain....it just felt very funny and it was huge!!! They made me stay there for an hour...monitering me and seeing if the swelling would go down with a cold pack or if I experienced any loss of feeling or pain. After an hour, it was about the same and I could still feel my fingers and had no pain...so they let me go saying that they have no idea when the swelling will go down. Then after that ordeal I had to have blood drawn still (since they really couldn't do anything with the other IV) and that was another 30 minute wait. When they finally took me back into the room I showed the lady the 2 veins that I had put the numbing cream on and she said "oh well its a tiny needle" and poked me in the vein that was NOT numb. I was sooo mad I didnt even cry!!!! Finally, my mom and I went and got lunch and then got Rite Aid ice cream....the best ice cream!!! We then returned to the hospital to meet with Gaynon...which was pointless because the scan was no good because there was no contrast!!! So instead of rescheduling to redo it he just scheduled my next 6 mth check up...so I am taking no news as good news!!! So even though today was interesting to say the least...I still feel very blessed to be in remission...it really makes me thank God when I see all those children and their families going through a much harder time than I did...I am soooooo Blessed!! -Carlene -I hope the swelling in my arm goes down soon...its not painful- just annoying

Desserts :]

Hey...so since I am a huge dessert fanatic, I decided to create a blog for all things dessert. So please check out http://pastriesforthepassionate.blogspot.com.
My Gaynon appt. is in 6 days....I just hope that it goes quickly and we leave with good news :]

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength!

-Carlene

Hope you had a good and green-filled St. Patricks Day :)

My 18th Birthday!!!

So this past Saturday the 5th was my 18th birthday!!! It was a super fun day!!! My family surprised my by taking me to the Magic Castle (a huge old mansion where magicians put on shows). All the acts were absolutely amazing..
For my birthday I decided to cut my hair..it wasn't long enough to donate but I just wanted it short..not as short as my buzz cut but short and off my neck :)
My CHLA appt. is 3 weeks away...and it is going to be an extremely looonnngggg day with my CT Scan at 930 am and then I meet with Gaynon at 230pm...I guess we will have to find something to do with all that down time..maybe we'll act like crazy LA tourists for a day :D

-Carlene

CHLA Appt.

So I finally have my next appointment down at CHLA scheduled. I only have to go down every 6 months instead of every 3 now :) This coming weekend my sisters and I are participating in a rodeo for cancer awareness. We get to run flags....and of course I'm having the green flag!!! I am sooo excited =]
Today I was listening to Air1 (a Christian radio station) and they read Isaiah 43: 1- 2 "Do not be afraid , for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you!" It is so encouraging...to know that God is with us even through those moments when it feels like all is lost - He is right there, holding us close

-Carlene

Ear Appt.

I went to the audiologist today and had a hearing and balance test. The hearing test was easy but the balance test made me dizzy. Luckily it only last for about a minute but I had to have it done twice..once for each ear. Afterwards the doctor said that my dizziness is definetly caused by the balance part of my ear, specifically my right ear. He doesn't know if it is related to chemo or not and if it is what he thinks it is, the severity of my dizzy spells should begin to lessen..not because it's getting better but because my brain will realize that it is inaccurate information. So he will send the results to the ear,nose, and throat doctor and then we will go from there. I am just so thankful that it is my ears and not my heart or my blood :)

Sunshine&Smiles

-God Bless
Carlene

2 Years

This past Sunday January 9th was the 2 year anniversary of when I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I can't believe it has already been 2 years. I feel so blessed and humbled to have that all behind me but I wouldn't take it back because I no God has a plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11
I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I want to send out another THANK YOU to all my friends and family who supported me and helped me through it!!! And of course a THANK YOU to God who I most certainly would not have made it through without.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

A lot has changed in these 2 years but at the same time a lot has stayed the same. I am so thankful for my health and I will continue to be grateful for everything that God so faithfully provides for me :D

Sunshine & Smiles

God Bless
-Carlene

Happy New Years =]

Wow...I can't believe it's 2011 already...that's crazay!!! I went to the ear specialist and he definitely thinks my dizziness has something to do with my ears so I have to go in for a hearing test and then that may help him decide which ear it is. He also said that the best way for him to figure it out is for me to have a dizzy spell again...which I really don't want to have one again..and then come in when I am having it. I just hope they can some how figure it out before i have another one :) It's also time for me to go down to CHLA yet again, even though I never went down again to see Gaynon after last time, but its the 3 month mark for my scan. I called twice this week with no reply so I will try again this week, at this rate I prolly wont be seen for a while :P
Well I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Years :)

Hebrews 12:14 'Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life....'
-a perfect New Years resolution :D

-Carlene
Sunshine&Smiles